Life: I Couldn’t Do It Without Him

15 Nov

I’ve been thinking heavily lately on my marriage & the role it’s played over the last 7 months. When Keely was diagnosed, we were handed a book. In it, was tons of information… in that information, there was an entire chapter on marriage & the response of a tragedy in a family & the toll it takes on a seemingly “happy” marriage. I read many “chicken soup for the soul” exerpts on what happened to the marriages of the parents dealing with a child with cancer. Almost all of them resulted in divorce. Some said, “the focus was diverted to the sick child for so long that we lost our connection”… some said, “we had problems before & it was easy to ignore them during treatment, but once treatment ended, so did we.” I felt so sad reading these stories. I thought to myself, “if ever a time to come together, now is it! The child that we created together, the evidence that we are one, is sick!” I know & understand that everyone deals with tragedy differently & I try very hard not to judge (& hope that other people would do the same considering that we aren’t all the same & you can never say what you would do in “that situation” if you’ve never dealt with it).

Brian & I both knew as we traveled this journey that we couldn’t let her disease rule us, but instead, our family had to supercede the disease. God is so amazing… the times or situation that broke me down, Brian seemed to have it together… & vice a versa. We balance each other out.  We also knew that even though this played as a huge distraction, we HAD to keep a certain amount of focus on our own marital health in order to better deal with our circumstances. We never allowed ourselves to put the other “on the back burner”. How we did that… I’m still not quite sure. We stayed up late sometimes just to talk & be alone. We had “date nights” as much as our chaos would allow us. But mostly, we just laughed! That’s what I love about B. No matter how long we’re together, no matter what attack we may be under… we still have this uncanny ability to make each other laugh. Our sense of humor is so alike, so fresh, & so “inside”.

During the most trying time of our union, we have flourished! We experience a deeper love than we did 7 months ago, we’ve learned to lean on each other more, be more vulnerable, more dependant, more understanding, & more considerate. But we also didn’t lose anything, we kept our passion for each other & we continue to laugh! I wonder sometimes what life would have been like if I would have married someone different & gone through this… & I almost fall to my knees in worship & gratefulness to God… for foreseeing everything that would come in my life & giving me every tool to overcome… one of those very important tools being, the man I married.

I decided that during the month of November, Keely & I would talk each day about what we’re thankful for… giving thanks & glory to God. It’s been 7 years today since Brian & I fell in love… & today, I’m thankful for what some people will go a lifetime without… a truly beautiful, ever prosperous marriage. Life isn’t life without this!


7 years & 3 kids later… & passion & laughter is our secret… & we’re STILL learning!


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