The Unforgettable

28 May

As I finish up my social networking entertainment (sincerely asking for prayers for Keely… there are some remarkable prayer warriors on my FB), & devote some time to my “secret place” (as I like to call it now… thank you Flyleaf), I couldn’t help but glimpse down the hall. At the end of the upstairs hallway is Keely’s room. When she is sleeping, the door is always closed & all I can see is the little glimmer of light from her night light under the door. Not tonight. She’s laying in a bed with her daddy at UNC. It saddens me… seeing her door open. I wonder sometimes when she is a teenager & is staying the night with a friend, if these old feelings will surface without me even having the chance to keep them from coming… “these feelings”…. I talk of them as if I could EVER truly describe them.

… how do you watch your only daughter, the 4 yr old going through more than most people will all of their lives, & still find joy & a sense of comedy in all of Cale’s adorable new words? Or being in complete awe over feeding your very last baby & trying so hard to hold & savor every moment of his babyness? Or put ALL of that in the back of your head for more than a moment to cherish & REALLY continue to fall in love with the man that has been my rock for so long?

When I think back… my mind is so beyond amazed by God, it’s indescribable! Brian & I got saved on Sept. 29, 2007… our son was less than 3 weeks old. God knew ALL of the events to come in our lives. He knew I would turn my back on Him, so He (along with B’s help of course. haha.)impregnated me with Finley (who saved my soul, my marriage, & my life!), He knew the events & trials to come with Keely, so He brought Finley into the world much earlier than expected (though we didn’t understand why at the time… it only took a couple of days for God to reveal why). He knew that Finley was perfectly developed in my womb & that it was better for him to be out than to be in while Brian & I were at UNC. God knew that He had Finely covered. Finley was born on March 24, 2009, Keely was diagnosed March 29, 2009. As I have described before, once she was diagnosed, there was no passing go, no collecting $200… the next thing we knew, we were at UNC with a 3 yr old being treated for A.L.L (Acute Lyphomblastic Leukemia). What if I would’ve been at the end of the pregnancy? What if I would have had to leave my daughter to birth our son all by myself? God was fighting my battle!! He is the beginning & the end… He knew everything that was about to unfold!… & He was taking care of it… not ME!… HIM.

It feels good to know that Keely will allow God to use her to change lives someday, that my boys will see me, (their MOM… as a warrior, a woman of strength), & that my marriage will have endured the ultimate trial! How many people REALLY know that their marriage could not only survive, but become stronger from such extreme circumstances?!

In the end, I know that I will see this as a blessing… that it was all worth it. That our family unit is stronger, that the respect can’t be stepped on, that our children will understand that through Christ, strength is within them!… that “happy endings” with marriages & families is attainable. My prayer is that this brings all of us closer than the average family, that our children understand that satan was so threatened by our strength that he put this disease on our child & how powerful God is if you just stay in stride with Him.

Brian & I have decided that once our daughter is cured  (or at least done with treatment) we are devoting our spare time to guiding newly diagnosised parents & familes through the process… the struggles, the unforgettable good times, the bonds built, & the strength that a family endures through this battle.

Here are a few pictures of us having  to make the most of this “season”.

Gangsta Chemo Keely


Who ever knew bath paints could be so much fun?!    


Here we are pushing Cale in Keely’s babydoll stroller down the hallway at about 40 m/h. goodtimes.


princess gear AND the baby stroller… he’ll hate us one day for it… too bad he won’t remember how much fun he had in it! 



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