Raising Daniel

7 Dec



I’m learning a lot as a parent these days. I never knew how different raising a girl & raising a boy really is. I’m so blessed that I have the opportunity to experience both. Still… with new experiences comes unfamiliar territory & searches for the best way to parent each individual child. I never thought I’d be very good at raising a boy. I wasn’t sure I was cut out for their “roughness” & “rambunctious behavior” (ironic how God gave me such a boyish son), but the truth is that, as crazy as it is, I love it. His willingness to try anything without fear is quite amusing.  He keeps me on my toes & he definitely keeps Brian & I laughing. I’m discovering something about myself & my parenting technique… in almost all situations with my children, I’ve found that I’m really just looking for balance. So this poses a question in raising a son…

How do I as a mother, embrace my sons boyish behavior, refrain from turning him into a sissy that sits quiet & pretty, keep from squelching his born instinct to be rough… all with limitations, boundaries, & discipline? Seems like dealing with Keely at his age was pretty cut & dry. My son… is just a brute (for lack of a better word). He would literally climb the walls if I left him alone long enough. I could give a million examples of his daily ambitions. Brian suggested that we get him a helmet since it has become a rarity that he isn’t walking around with a big goose egg or some brutal bruise on his melon. 

So… I’m figuring out a little everyday about how to keep balance with my son… how to embrace him as a boy & also keep him from tearing my house apart from the bottom up. haha. I have to realize that I am ultimately striving to raise a man… a REAL man, a man of dignity, of strength, & confidence… not a man with his tail tucked between his legs, not a man with no respect, & not a man too scared of failure to pursue the dreams that God has impressed on his heart & stand by his commitments. I am convinced that parenting is not only one of the most important jobs I’ll ever have, but one of the most challenging. I’m blessed to be in such a good marriage… I don’t know how people do this job successfully without it.

Any good advice/personal experiences on raising boys? I’m all ears.


5 Responses to “Raising Daniel”

  1. jennifertobler December 8, 2008 at 4:40 am #

    Well, I obviously don’t have a son yet, but the absolute without a single doubt in my mind book that I have ever read (or heard of) for understanding the male species is Wild At Heart by John Elderidge. He talks about why guys can get messed up from God’s original design, how to fix it, and how to start fresh in being the man that God created him to be. So while its great for understanding husbands/fathers/brothers/etc, it would be awesome to use for sons because you just start at the end of the book and teach them from the beginning how to be the man that God created them to be.

  2. vanessathompson December 8, 2008 at 4:07 pm #

    thanks Jenn!! Brian has this book & I’ve thought about reading it… now I definitely will!

  3. Justin December 9, 2008 at 5:32 am #

    I was going to suggest that book as well. I would also encourage you, as he gets older to try to intelligently present what the risks of a situation may be, and let him make a decision on his own. I didn’t play football growing up, because the impression I had was that it was just too dangerous, and I might break my arm or something (really that’s the impression I had). I finally got over that my senior year in high school, and honestly wish that I had gotten over that a lot sooner/never had that problem. Also, remember that as you do allow them to take risks to lift them up with prayer. I’ve heard that Joel Osteen and his brothers all played football and such growing up, and none of them ever had a broken bone, because their mother prayed over them every day.

  4. vanessathompson December 9, 2008 at 3:28 pm #

    This is great Justin. Thank you so much for giving me advise from a man’s point of view. I do confess things over my children, but this is another confession to take on that I haven’t thought about. Much ‘preciated.

  5. Justin December 9, 2008 at 6:09 pm #

    You’re welcome.

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